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Why Do We Always See the Bad?

Today is my 19th wedding anniversary and it made me think, why do we not see ourselves as others do? My husband still sees me as this beautiful young lady that was about 50 pounds lighter. He doesn't see the wrinkles or the grey hairs beginning to shine through.


He loves me so much that most of the time I am still shocked by how he looks at me. He looks at me with such love and passion like we are still dating. This should make me feel great, right?


However, I have this negative wheel playing in my head even when he tells me how beautiful I look. After four C-sections and cellulite all over, he still sees my beauty.


I almost always make an excuse for him when he says how pretty I am. Something like, you need your eyes checked or I am glad you see whatever it is you see in me. My favorite response is you should have kept your receipt for me so you could return me.


My husband still sees me as this beautiful young lady that was about 50 pounds lighter. He doesn't see the wrinkles or the grey hairs beginning to shine through.

I am not telling you this because I need you to feel sorry for me. I think unfortunately for women, we have this terrible self talk going on in our heads. I don’t know if it is from all the advertising or we just remember every bad thing anyone ever said about us. Why do we always see the bad?


For one whole day, on my anniversary, I am going to give my husband, my kids, and myself the best gift I could ever give all of us.


For one day, I am not going to say anything in reply to a compliment other than thank you.


For one day, I am not going to repeat all the negativity in my head. When it starts playing, I am going to say to myself, you are awesome.


I am going to repeat this to myself over and over for one day. Then I hope that somehow in this world that glorifies the figure of a 10 year old girl, that I can continue to lift myself up for myself and for my whole family, especially for my daughters.

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