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When I Spanked our Two Year Old

No one told me how hard raising children would be. The most I ever heard was,

“I cannot wait until you have children.” Or the simple,


“You just wait.”


How was any of this going to be helpful? I was struggling as a mom, but no one saw it. My husband was working long hours so I could stay home with our two year old and infant. We had no family in town to help me.

I was tired and so beaten down.


I had no time for myself.


I had no time to sleep.


I was frustrated. We had wanted a family so much. Now we had one and I felt like such a bad mom. My two year old would not listen to what I said. If I said right, she went left.


I could not get her to behave so I spanked her on her bottom. She wore a diaper so it just shocked her.


I had no time for myself. I was so tired.

We were at the grocery store and she had one of those terrible throw down fits on the cereal isle. I remember looking at her thinking, “this cannot be what I gave my career up for.”


By this time, everyone was looking at me. My daughter seemed to be getting louder and louder. I felt the tears coming so with a full cart, I grabbed the infant carrier and my kicking two year old and got to the car.


Once I was safely inside my mini van, I did it. I spanked her bottom. The shock was enough to finally get her to calm down enough so I could get her in the car seat.


I felt terrible. I was one of those moms.


The spanking did nothing for our two year old’s behavior, but it released my frustration. I felt at least I tried something.


But then I realized, I needed to fix my frustration. I needed to find another way to parent my strong-willed child. I knew I needed some kind of guidance, some kind of help.


I needed to fix my broken self.

I knew I could learn to do a better job.

I wanted to be a better mom.

I wanted to be a good mom.

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