Replaying Conversations in my Head
I can turn anything with my husband and I into an argument. It just depends on the mood I am in. Now don’t misunderstand me, we don’t fight more than the average couple. But I have noticed that I can always try to win the disagreement.
I almost always think my ideas are better than his ideas. And keep in mind, I can most of the time prove why they are better, but does that help bring us together?
Does that count as communicating?
In every relationship that I know of, there is either the wife or the husband almost always wins every discussion. So what does that do to the other spouse?
How much can they take before they just shut down?
We all see these relationships that one person shuts down. They start to believe that
“whatever you want,” or
“my ideas are never good enough.”
As a woman, I always play my conversations back in my head over and over. So I have started this in my own marriage and it has helped greatly.
First, when I think of a time when my husband said something or did something that really made me happy, like over the moon happy, I save that whole situation in my head…like a movie. I remember every detail I can about it.
Second, I tell my husband, “Remember a month ago when you said,” and I try to paint every detail back to him. This helps my husband realize the importance it was to me, because to him he just said it and never thought about it again.
Third, we discuss in detail that situation again in a loving way.
Then lastly, I bring this back up every 2-4 months. This helps me show him what is important to me and furthers our relationship into a deeper level.
So for example, my husband introduced me to a group of his coworkers as owning a blogging company. Now this is true, but the way he described me made me sound like an Amy Porterfield or a Rachel Hollis type of business owner. This made me feel so good, that I literally stood taller.
So I remembered that whole situation. I even remembered what I was wearing that night. I remember his words and all the feeling those words had when he said them.
Then months later when we were going on our evening walk, I said,”Do you remember two months ago when we were having dinner with your partner and his wife?” He said, ‘Sure I remember.” Then I told him, “that night you made me feel so important. You made me feel like I was the bread winner of our family even though I am not. You made me see what I am doing through your eyes and it was beautiful.” I said, “I just wanted to let you know how much that night meant to me.”
Just sharing these feelings with my husband made for such a wonderful evening. This one moment of bring something up that was said months ago, shaped our whole night.
Ladies, I have to admit that the most powerful thing we can do for our husbands, is to lift them up occasionally. And then pull that situation from our memories and remind them how it made you feel every few months.
I promise you, this one piece of advice will help your level of communication with your spouse. The act of telling him every few months how that one situation made you feel will bring you closer. Sharing this will also train you spouse the way you want to be treated. This one exercise will lead to more and more good memories that you can play over and over in your head to take your marriage to a more positive place. #Marriage #Communication #Amyporterfield #Rachelhollis