Why Moms Cannot Have Panic Attacks
Updated: Feb 21, 2019
If you knew me a few years ago, you might have thought I had most things in order in my life. You might have thought I had a nice home and great kids and a supportive husband. Those things are all correct, but I was a mess.
I looked fine from the outside, but I was truly a mess inside. I was having a real struggle dealing with the simplest things in my life. Everything seemed to stress me out.
Normally I was able to handle a fair amount of stress, but something was changing.
I started crying over simple things that would not come together easily.
You know those days that you have your favorite shirt on and you spill coffee on it, but have no time to change because you are late for your kids’ school drop off. Which means that you will be late for work and you still need to kennel your dogs and get the kids loaded in the car type of mornings. Do you have these thoughts and you have two minutes or less to deal with your life stress?
I found that I might be okay in the moment, but my neck would start to hurt. Then once I got the kids dropped off at school, I would start to cry.
What was this?
Was I suddenly missing my kids?
Was I unhappy with my life?
Were my days not full enough?
I had no idea at the time the cause so I kept being a mom, a wife, and a friend. Until I could not do it anymore.
I found myself every night after the kids were down for bed, the laundry was done, and the kitchen cleaned up after dinner, feeling like I could not breathe.
I kept seeing more and more doctors and they kept giving me more inhalers saying my asthma was worse.
The more inhalers I took, the worse my breathing was at the end of the day. The more breathing treatments I took, the worse my breathing was when the day became quiet.
Why could I go all day and then struggle with every breath at the end of the day?
I was going to the ER for asthma treatments month after month. I felt like I was losing my mind. I was okay all day, but I dreaded the nights.
It got so bad that my husband would sit next to the bathtub while I soaked trying to talk me out of this breathing problem. Then we figured out that the medicine was doing nothing for me.
Because asthma was not my problem.
Stress was my problem.
I was having panic attacks nightly.
How could this be true?
How could I be so weak to be having panic attacks?
Can you let so much build up in your life that you reach your limit?
I can not go on like this anymore.
I have been making myself sick.
I need to dig deep and figure out what has been the problem.
I need to figure out why I cannot deal with my life.
Do you need to figure out how to continue day after day.
Do you need to go on with your life?
Do you need to breathe. Do you need to stop your panic attacks?
So how do we start to heal?
How do we start to talk about our stress?
How do we figure out what the problem is?
How do we start to lift each other up?
Maybe we just start.