I recently shared a personal story about how my youngest was taken in Dick’s from me.
I was lucky to get her back, but something keeps resonating with me.
I had this huge feeling of guilt.
Why should I feel guilty about someone else taking my child?
The fault is on that terrible woman for wanting to take my daughter, but I still felt it.
I felt like I should not have looked away for even a second.
In my mind, I know that is not a healthy way to live.
But in my heart, I almost always feel as a parent that I could do more or be more for my kids.
I was not raised this way so why do I feel so guilty. Is it this era of self analysis that we live in now?
If I am late to pick up my kids at school because things started to fall apart at work, I feel guilty. I know my children are safe at school. I know I have to make money at a job, so why do I feel guilty.
Do I love my children more than my parents loved me?
I don’t think so.
Am I the only one that thinks I am failing somedays at thhis parenting gig I signed up for?
I don’t think so.
So if we all have these feelings, then why are we not always taking about them? Now, don’t get me wrong. I express my concerns and stresses to my friends, but I mean those deep feelings of guilt. Those times we feel like we are the only one in the world that messed up.
For me it is about almost not getting my daughter back safely,
but I did.
It is about the one time I got stuck in traffic and my 12 year old waited by himself for 10 minutes. He was fine and in a safe place,
but I felt guilty.
When my son gets a stye, I wonder did I give him too much gluten or sugar?
Should I not have let him have that piece of cake at a party?
Am I not preparing enough healthy meals?
Why do I feel so guilty?
In this Pinterest era of perfection, how do we forgive ourselves?
During this time when everything is portrayed as wonderful on social media, how do we forgive our imperfections?
Perfection is a mirage that you can never get to.
You have to realize you are doing your best
and being the best parent you can be.
You need to trust others more.
You need to open up about all your deep guilty feelings so you know you are not alone.
Hopefully we will realize that we don’t hold exclusivity on mom guilt.
We all have to encourage each other in this challenging job of parenting.
Maybe through sharing we can realize that we are all just doing our best
and our children don’t need perfect parents.
They need parents that show up and that love them.